A former commander of the Russian mercenary group Wagner, who sought asylum in Norway after crossing the Russian-Norwegian border in January, said Wednesday he wants to return to Russia, even though he believes it could be a risk to his life. Reported by Reuters.

Andriy Medvedev, who previously told Western media about his time fighting in Ukraine, said in a video posted on YouTube that he decided to return to his homeland on his own.

The 26-year-old said he felt like a “boy in a big game” that he no longer wanted to be a part of.

“Recently, I decided that I am ready to return to the Russian Federation. I asked the Russian embassy in Oslo for help to facilitate my return,” Medvedev said in one of five short videos posted on YouTube, stressing that he made the decision on his own. He stated that “tomorrow” (Thursday) he will hand over the documents that, in his opinion, will facilitate his return.

“I hoped that I would find peace and tranquility here, that I would be able to leave all politics, war, and the army, but somehow it didn’t work out,” Medvedev admitted in Russian. “We’ll see what happens in Russia. If I’m killed – good. If not – thank you very much. If I live – even more,” said Andriy Medvedev.

In January, he escaped from Russia on the Arctic border with Norway. He said he ran through a barbed-wire fence and evaded border patrol dogs and heard gunfire from Russian guards as he ran through the woods and across a frozen river. His story made headlines around the world as a rare example of someone defecting to a Western country claiming to have fought alongside Wagner’s mercenary group in Ukraine. At the time, Medvedev said he sought asylum in Norway because he feared for his life after witnessing the killing and abuse of Russian prisoners recruited by a mercenary group to fight in Ukraine.

Then, in April, he was convicted of taking part in a bar fight in Oslo and carrying an air pistol. At the time, he told Reuters he was looking to the future, learning Norwegian and hoping to get asylum.

Reuters notes that Medvedev could not be reached by phone on Wednesday.