Appearance Arctic Monkeys it happened at a time when the “fat cows” of the British (and not only) indie industry were still eating to excess. libertines, when they weren’t starring in NME yellow titles with Pete Doherty’s “feats”, writing some of the most “hymn” songs of the ’00s for alternative youth, Franz Ferdinand rocked the venues with every biting, almost stoic, but oh so awakening his riffs and groups like Kaiser Chiefs and block party faithfully followed, also contributing to the independent revival of the “Island” in the 2000s.

Somewhere out there, just out of school boys from Sheffield picked up an extremely pompous but admittedly catchy name. “Whatever people say about me, that’s what I’m not” introduce record companies to the world.

With the necessary youthful bravado in their sound and Alex Turner’s smart, sometimes poetic lyrics, the Arctic Monkeys have accomplished little or nothing on their resume. fastest selling debut in UK chart history.

And from there the course turned out to be only (?) up. They continued the cool and groovy indie narrative behind their wacky haircuts, and when they started to take on a more pop and flamboyant turn (“Suck It And See”), it was time to slowly slick back their hair and turn into a stage band. Finally, “RU Mine?” from “AM” he was heard and sung even by people completely unaware of what the initials NME mean, and Alex Turner suddenly became one of the most sought-after men.

And then he looked in the mirror and saw … Serge Gainsbourg. Turner “turned” him into a crooner and “entered” Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino, showing once and for all how to move from leather to velvet.

Looks like the upcoming Arctic Monkeys album will be heading in the same direction. “Car”, that will reach our headphones on October 21. This foreshadows the first single “It would be better if there was a mirror ball”, this time with a richer and less pretentious approach that made many of us say, “I don’t get it.” And their frontman, with 35+ wrinkles now, once again makes pale those who consider him one of the most charismatic lyricists of his generation, lyrics like “Yesterday still flows through the roof.”

So, while we wait for the rest of The Car’s races, we look at the Arctic Monkeys discography with the necessary suspense: as follows: listening to their recordings count down, from worst to best.

6
“Deception” (Domino, 2009)

call me too: What time (and the dust of the Mojave Desert) is buried

After two records going a thousand, the apes slowed down, saw things from a darker angle and all, because they went to the other side of the Atlantic and joined hands with Josh Ohm from Queens of the Stone Age, who produced most of the tracks on the album (on the rest we find their permanent collaborator James Ford). And if in words it sounds interesting, then in reality it is not so at all. The Humbug moved lazily in the shadows but couldn’t find a way to maneuver, causing the shadow to swallow him up. The record sounds neurotic for the most part, and at its best (and tracks like “Crying Lightning”) it can’t be much more than a “tail” to songs like “505”. Coincidence that he has the most mediocre cover in their discography?

5
“Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino” (Domino, 2018)

call me too: That Turner dressed up as Gainsbourg for Halloween

As Turner’s narcissism is already off the charts compared to the ‘AM’ predecessor, here the Arctic Monkeys lean towards their leader’s other project, Last Shadow Puppets, he ditches his hair and mustache (unsuccessfully) and all together enlists his most carefree personality. What they eventually succeeded in was to show that they were in a hurry to grow up. The whole concept looked not only completely worn out, but also the wrong size. As for these “four stars out of five”, then, unfortunately, the record’s superficial hipsterism leaves no opportunity to compensate for them.

four
“AM” (Domino, 2013)

call me too: What the lame Maria taught them

For every band as big as the Arctic Monkeys, there’s a record that “made” them, that catapulted them into the mainstream (or, for the most vicious, the one that made them “pop” or “sell out”). In the case of the British, full commercial recognition came with “AM” and mostly with tracks like “Do I Wanna Know?”. and “RU Mine?”, which nearly became the official soundtrack of the 2013-14 season. Turner raised an eyebrow and went from “baby” to “chick” and his sexy posture is now evident in the way he sings. The Arctic Monkeys may never have written hits like this again, but listening to them today, we are more reminded of where we were and what we were doing almost ten years ago than they can say anything musically meaningful about what happened then or now.

3
Favorite Worst Nightmare (Domino, 2007)

call me too: The one that cut the credits (but didn’t relieve tension)

The second album that every band would like to release. The then new darlings of the alternative press, still in the spotlight, wasted no time and re-entered the studio while the dynamism and excitement were still hot to give us their second “now that it’s spinning” album. They stuck to the recipe because it worked the first time, and with their youthfulness and sharp riffs, they kept “Favourite Worst Nightmare” from looking like a warm meal. It was also the last time Arctic Monkeys sounded so fresh and so young. And lest we forget, here we also find one of the best songs of their career (and of Turner’s entire career, in fact): “505”.

2
“No matter what people say about me, I’m not like that” (Domino, 2006)

call me too: The one with Dimitris Papamichael on the cover

When you’re under 20, your sound belongs to what we call “guitar” and you choose an average of 5 words in each of your song titles, but sometimes up to 14 – you either flirt a lot with yogurt or realize (and with the necessary arrogance) that you are not “another band” from Britain. Indeed, there were no Arctic Monkeys. In their 40 minutes of debut, there is not a moment of peace, verse after verse you will find something that will surprise you and make you wonder how these lyrics were written by someone who just graduated from school (and then come to the conclusion that that spark can only come from someone who just graduated from high school), while for any predictability, the indie punk vibe acts as a tonic counterbalance. And if Alex Turner’s admission many years later that “I just wanted to be one of the Strokes” was already clear in 2006, after the holiday we conclude that both wrote two of the best debuts of the 00s and (flip!) Arctic General The Monkeys performed better than Julian Casablancas’ band.

one
“Suck and See” (Domino, 2011)

call me too: That in America the name was censored (… and sold with a sticker)

“White Album” Arctic Monkeys (and not just for the cover). Although critics have usually treated “Suck It And See” with the usual adage “not great, but not terrible”, the 4th album of the 25-year-old British has collected all their virtues – and added a few more. ‘I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor’ got a follow-up to ‘Don’t Sit ‘Cause I Moved Your Chair’, punk went to libraries (Library Pictures), Arctic Monkeys proved they, too, can be worthy Smith kids whenever they want , and Turner got the lyrical pinnacle – one after another the lyrics of the track of the same name and that “You are less likely to be cans of dandelion and burdock / And those other girls are just a post-mix of lemonade” Also knows how to melt cement. As much as “Suck It And See” screams for the Arctic Monkeys, it deviates from the “before” and “after” narrative of the Sheffield quartet, and that’s perhaps its greatest strength. Oh yes, along with the most melodic and pop songs ever written – because no matter what happens in this world, a good melody will never lose its beauty. After all, Alex Turner “poured his aching heart into a pop song, couldn’t master the poetry.” Better for us.