Prince Harry says he’s “always felt a little bit different” about his family, just like him. In an online conversation about grief, the Duke of Sussex said he fears he will lose memories of his mother Diana when he begins treatment, the BBC reports.

He also said he “smothered” his children with love to avoid passing on any “traumas” or “negative experiences” of his own upbringing.

His conversation was with Dr. Gabor Mate, author of Trauma and Addiction. Their fireside conversation in California focused on the themes of “living with loss” from Spare’s memoir.

“I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders”

Reflecting on the public reaction to the book, the Duke of Sussex insisted he was not a “victim” and was not looking for sympathy. He said that his own reaction to the publication of the controversial book was a feeling of “incredible freedom”.

“I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders,” he told Dr. Mate, describing the book as an “act of service” to help others break the taboo of talking about mental health issues.

Saturday’s discussion focused on Prince’s emotions, therapy and thoughts on mental health. But he has not been involved in recent discussions about the royal family, such as whether Harry and his wife Meghan should leave Frogmore Cottage or whether he will attend his father’s coronation. There was also no mention of how the royal family, including his brother, felt about his memoirs.

Prince Harry said that as a child and teenager he “felt a little bit different from the rest of his family” and felt he lived in a “bubble” that therapy helped him break. In front of an international online audience, he was asked about his childhood without hugs or expressions of love.

He said that with his children, he makes sure to “smother them with love and affection.” “As a parent, I feel a huge responsibility not to pass on any trauma or … negative experiences that I had as a child,” he said.

He has spoken repeatedly about the importance of therapy, even if it can create a wall between him and other relationships. But he said he wrongly feared it would hurt his feelings for his mother Diana, who died in a car crash in Paris in 1997 when Harry was 12.

“One of the things I was most afraid of was losing my feelings for my mother…I still managed to hold on to my mother,” Prince Harry said. But he didn’t lose those feelings and realized “that she really just wanted me to be happy,” he told Dr. Mate.

“Marijuana is different, it really helped me”

The prince said he was “forever grateful” to his wife Meghan for changing his mind, calling her an “exceptional person”. But he said meeting Meghan gave him a “crash course” in experiencing racism, which he described as “quite shocking”.

Prince Harry also defended his use of psychedelics, saying they helped him “deal with past trauma and pain” and were like “cleaning the windscreen”.

He said that using cocaine “didn’t do anything for me” but that “marijuana is different, it really helped me”.

To view the interview online, the public had to buy a copy of Prince Harry’s book, which shocked with unprecedented accounts of royal tensions and personal revelations. (Source: News.ro)