Although many family events are organized to “join the world” (as one subject puts it), the most common arguments are: to formalize their relationship, for fun because “it’s supposed to be” or for financial reasons the benefit with which the protagonists can stay, shows a study published a few days ago in the Revista de Sociologie.

Another conclusion reached by the authors of the study, Codrucha Predatu and Christina Leovaridis, is that the difference between family events in rural areas and events in cities is becoming smaller.

The old customs of the events are still mostly in rural areas, but few people know what they really mean or why they are practiced. “There remains a tendency to preserve more customs in the village than in the city,” say the authors.

Differences manifest themselves at the level of choice in terms of musical tastes, menu choices or the venue. But “even people from rural areas decide to organize their events in restaurants in cities, even if in the past these events were considered unnatural or atypical, if they were not organized at home or in the community,” the quoted document says.

The organization of these events is no longer managed by the family, including the extended family, as it was before. Nowadays, people who decide to organize their own event often choose an event planner to take on all the work but manage things the way they want.

In addition, unlike in the past, now the influence of the family on the organization of events is small, and the vast majority of subjects choose to plan events or do not take into account external influence.

By reducing the influence of the family and narrow community, the event loses its ritual aspect of conformity to traditions and the way of their social and family transmission, shows the study of two Romanian researchers.

A modern wedding is a candy bar / gelato bar / salty bar, cocktail bar, cigar bar, live cake, makeup…

“Event Concept, DJ, Quartet, Saxophone, Videographer, Floral Workshops, Candy Bar / Gelato Bar / Salty Bar, Cocktail Bar, Cigar Bar, Live Cake, Makeup, Guest Accommodation, Crafting Workshops wedding dresses or suits for the bride and groom. . These are all aspects that I recommend to my clients to understand what they really want to have at their event” (EB – event organizer).

“The emphasis on external, formal aspects, as well as the disappearance of pressure from the family and community, show the change of these events, from rites of passage to passage,” the authors of the study conclude.

How everything looked in the past

For a rural person, conception, baptism, wedding and funeral were three moments of special importance in a person’s life, which had such a significant impact on the course of life that they had to be treated with great seriousness and respect, dedicating a complex of rituals to them. They have survived for a long time because they were believed to be ways to support material well-being, health and well-being at the individual and family levels

Ritual associations in the family (baptisms, weddings, funerals, etc.) were also of great importance in the life of communities, which take part in the stages and changes occurring in the life of each member of the community.

Important family events in traditional society took place at home or in the family; if not, they were classified as atypical or unnatural. So that certain elements of the construction of the house, such as a lintel, a threshold, windows or a hearth, became symbolic objects.

In the case of birth, rites, prescriptions and prohibitions appeared even from the time when the child was in the mother’s womb. On the occasion of the birth of a child in all localities, it was customary for pregnant women to go to church to confess and receive communion closer to the moment of childbirth.

During childbirth, the man had to enter the room where the woman was at least once, and depending on the location, he left certain objects that acquired symbolic attributes in the context of childbirth. An example of this can be a pitchfork and an ax, which were placed near a woman who was about to give birth. The explanation of the objects was related to the sex of the baby, if a girl was born, she was told to learn how to spin, and if it was a boy, she had to learn how to wield an axe.

From the moment of birth, the newborn began to make various wishes, and the first person with whom this custom began was the midwife. The role of the birth mother’s wishes was to help the newborn become an important, socially recognized individual.

Also, a silver heel was necessarily placed in the newborn’s hand so that he would not be blinded by people who would visit him, and if this happens, then the blind eye should be on the heel, not on the child. The next event in the life of the child, as well as his family, was baptism, if not the most important one. The customs associated with the birth of a child ended with the breaking or cutting of a kalach, as it may be, it is also an event of a holiday, wishes and gifts

Celibacy symbolized social decay in the rural world because marriage fulfilled a law of nature. The purpose of marriage, according to traditionalists, was to have someone with whom you could share your joys and sorrows throughout your life, someone with whom you would have legitimate offspring, who would carry your name and inherit your wealth, land, so as not to remain in other people’s hands. Children also had the role of caring for their parents in their old age, and after their death, to mourn them and give them a Christian funeral.

In the traditional mentality, the interest of marriage was of a social nature, namely the interest in descendants in the family to perpetuate the lineage. Marriage included three stages: betrothal, wedding and post-wedding customs. Each stage included, in turn, many rites and customs, depending on the specifics of the area and traditions received from past generations.

The main actors of the wedding ceremony were the groom, the bride, best men, matchmakers and matchmakers. Apart from them, there were many other actors who took part in the various customs that had to be performed, such as the callers, that is, those who called people to the wedding, or the forester, the one who took the tree to the bride’s house; depending on the area, they are called differently; also other roles may appear from region to region (such as Druze or ensigns).

Habits associated with personal family events in an urban environment

In urban societies, the family no longer provides the individual with social or professional status as it did in rural societies, leading to a shift in family functions and a reset of hierarchies, the researchers say.

Compared to rural societies, where traditional families were expected to have at least one child, urban marriage is no longer seen as an act with expected finality, as a social pressure with clear expectations. In the cities of Romania, after marriage in the church, young people were celebrated with numerous processions, they were welcomed by relatives and friends and celebrated with violinists, food and drinks.

After the happy event ended and the guests left, for the newlyweds, who were happy throughout the event, began a life full of mental trials due to the fear of having a child: “Out of a thousand girls who get married, it would be difficult to find one who wanted to marry him would have a child The appearance of their being in the world is the cause of annoyances, sleepless nights, curses and often burdens the soul with crimes, some of which remain forever unknown.

Weddings in urban societies have completely detached themselves from the raison d’être of past practices, losing their symbolic dimension and turning into a competition between families who will dazzle the world more and who will gain more visibility on a social level.

Physical wedding invitations through country songs have also been replaced in the city by mail invitations. An integral part of the wedding is a religious ceremony, which in the urban environment no longer leaves such a strong imprint on the memory of the newlyweds, even if this ritual is saturated with suggestive elements and meanings.

In urban society, clothing also plays an important role because of the two functions it performs, differentiation and identification. Clothing in traditional society included coded insignia with symbolic meaning. Non-observance of dress codes related to age, social status or traditional costume led to serious consequences on a social level. Conversely, in urban society, this sacred component of clothing no longer has the same meanings

Rituals performed by godparents during the religious moment of weddings and baptisms, as well as well-known evening parties and refreshments for participants, lost their sacral and ceremonial significance. Gratitude for the protection of a happy existence in a contented family and community is no longer associated with the communion of community members, with the offering of food symbolized by the bread shared in the church, and with the food offered to guests, respectively. .

Interview: what those involved in the events say

The question “What do you want to know before accepting an event?” . The most common response was the number of people who will attend the event, followed by the location, date and budget of the event: “Among the most important aspects: the date of the event. , the location of the event, the time of the event, the available budget and, of course, the special requirements of each client” (CM – DJ); “Number of people and theme of the event” (A.V. – arrangement artist); “First the location to get an idea of ​​what I could do for them, the number of people, and then we move on to the wish list so we can create an unforgettable event together” (AG – photographer).

After receiving answers to the question “Which moments do you consider indispensable during a wedding?”; “But during baptism, moç / turta?”; “However, what are the common elements found in these family events that do not take into account their specificity?”, we found that within wedding/engagement type events, the most common answer that appeared in two-thirds of respondents was that such events cannot be completed without a photo session, which is followed by the first dance or the dance of the bride and groom.

In the case of weddings, the most important aspects of the responses of the “modernists” show that the focus is on futuristic arrangements, on all kinds of innovations, such as 360-degree platforms, photo booths, fresh bar, ice cream bar, and on creating as many memories as possible with photos and videos: “The idea in a nutshell: the behavior of the organization of these events at the moment involves a transition from an attributed organization to an organization dictated by market rules (AG – photographer); “Futuristic arrangements, fresh bar, candy bar, ice cream bar” (HM – restaurant owner).

It is interesting that some respondents chose the date of the event depending on the availability of subcontractors: “First of all, I looked for the venue, group and photographer, and depending on their availability, I set the date of the event” (KS / wedding).