When Christine Batikefer lost her job and divorced her husband, she suddenly found herself without income or housing. In an attempt to help Christine and her 4-year-old daughter, two family friends invited her to live with them at their home in Jacksonville, Florida.

Soon after, Christine’s best friend divorced and she, too, stayed at home with her two children, ages 5 and 1. In one night these women created one women’s commune“momun”.

Around the world, women are joining forces to live together and share the burden of raising children and financial expenses, awakening age-old principles. matriarchal women’s sisterhood. Ms Batikefer, 32, who wrote a popular blog about family life in a converted army bus, is touting her new lifestyle and life with four grown women and three children.

When she came down with the flu, the other women in the house cooked her soup and baked cookies, and the children were taken to a nearby park to give her a break. “An unsurpassed system of mutual assistance. I should have moved into an apartment like this years ago,” Christine wrote on her incredibly popular TikTok account.

This type of cohabitation is not new. mothers – especially those who belong to minorities – have lived in the same house for centuries. But the pandemic, as well as the growing number of single white women who are also mothers in the US, have drawn attention to this type of family structure. “In the cultures of the Hispanic world, there is a tradition of co-parenting by the women of the community. A mother can have a woman of equal social status who supports her and helps in raising her children. In the midst of the pandemic, we began to create these “micro-communities” that are a modern continuation of solidarity between women,” explains Grace Bastindas, director of the Parents website (Parents).

Innovative Solutions

Bastindas grew up in a female cohabitation, with her sister, cousin, mother, and aunt in the same house, with the two adult women having no partners. “The sense of community is becoming increasingly rare in American society. Single mothers are facing rising costs of living and declining infrastructure for children to live alone. Parents are forced to redraw the boundaries of the traditional family, finding non-standard solutions,” says Bastintas.

In the midst of the pandemic, such “micro-communities” began to be created, which are a modern continuation of women’s solidarity.

According to the Federal Bureau of Statistics, 80% of single-parent families in the United States are headed by women. Scientific studies have shown that these family units are more likely to suffer from poverty, low self-esteem and lack of psychological support.

Psychologist Naomi Torres-Maki emphasizes that “the sharing of responsibilities in the life of mothers together is of great importance and can act as an antidote to stress, social exclusion and the stigma of single-parent families.” In April 2020, at the height of the pandemic, old friends Holly Harper (company executive) and Erin Hopper (lawyer) had just separated from their husbands and were living with their children in separate apartments in Washington, D.C. while working remotely. The two friends decided to join their financial efforts and bought a house to raise their children together.

Hopper explains that getting a home equity loan gives divorced women with children a chance to rebuild the financial position that many lose after divorce due to increased daily expenses. “We want our children to be safe and receive the support we deserve as human beings. The most logical thing is to share,” says Hopper, 46.

The two friends shared the cost ($850,000) of buying a house in the suburbs of the capital. Hopper now lives there with his 10-year-old son and 15-year-old daughter in three bedrooms on the first floor. The house is colorful and chaotic. The walls are lined with art and photographs, and the rooms quickly fill with small items and memorabilia. Harper lives downstairs with her 10-year-old daughter. Six months after moving in, two friends invited two more women—one of them, a mother of two—to live in the basement and attic of the house, increasing the population of a kind of communal experiment.

Rent for singles

The friends also bought a second house to rent out to other single mothers to increase their creditworthiness after the divorce. Harper aims to extend the idea of ​​single-parent families to other parts of the US.

“This can be repeated everywhere. It has nothing to do with gender and is not a political movement. We just use the existing family and banking structure for the benefit of community members,” notes Harper.

“Platonic spouses”, as they call themselves, also have difficult moments. Their attempt to open a cafe failed. The two commoners fell in love and moved into their own (small) house. However, despite the small problems, the two friends express pride in the experiment they are conducting, opening horizons for single mothers. “In a patriarchal heterosexual society, when you get divorced, you have to stay at home or buy a new one, and you end up living in isolation until you get married again. We dispelled that myth,” says Hopper.