“Poverty causes grumbling,” say the sages in Greece, although, of course, there are many exceptions. But “money does not bring happiness,” as another saying goes, not to mention the fact that it can cause new, unprecedented problems.

But what about wealthy? Germanyat a time when inflation is running into double digits and many families are counting their money twice and thrice before committing a major expense?

According to a recent survey conducted on behalf of dating site ElitePartner (which is said to target mostly college-educated, high-income men and women), 11.4% of respondents say there is a “problem” or “had been a problem” in their relationship. “. with economic poverty, leading to tensions. At least one in four say they “can’t get by” without additional income from their significant other.

“There is no magic recipe”

In particular, women, especially women with children, are unhappy with being financially dependent on men. Obviously, this is due to the fact that women are often forced to give up their career aspirations in order to devote themselves to the family, while most men take it for granted that their career continues regardless of whether they have children or not.

When poverty causes stress, “emotions and passion recede or lose their former meaning,” Michael Marie, a marriage and relationship consultant, told the German News Agency (dpa).

In this case, there is no “magic recipe” to keep the couple together and keep the relationship going, each couple must find their own balance.

“As a rule, I don’t give specific advice,” he says. “I try to accompany the couple and support them by spreading a protective net in a difficult situation.”

Michael Murray believes that in many ways money remains a “taboo” and estimates that about one in ten of those who turn to him for advice find themselves in a financial rut. Some even rush to contact a lawyer instead of a marriage counselor, without hesitation initiating divorce proceedings.

“Together they do not and separately they cannot”

Eva Becker, a lawyer specializing in family law from Berlin, confirms this fact. But along the way, he says, another problem may arise: the couple becomes emotionally estranged but cannot “afford” a divorce financially because each cannot finance their own separate household. Thus, they are both forced to remain “strangers in the same house” and this is often the case in Berlin, where rents have skyrocketed in recent years.

“Ever since the war broke out in Ukraine, the energy crisis and the constant rise in inflation, the problem has worsened,” says Eva Becker. This is especially true for low- and middle-income people who are wondering how they can cover the costs of divorce. Which are not limited to additional rent, but often include alimony for the former spouse and alimony. Simply put, says an experienced lawyer, your expenses double and your income stays the same.

There is still no reliable answer to the question of whether economic poverty actually reduces divorce rates. However, a first look at the statistics shows that 142,800 divorces will be registered in Germany in 2021, which is 0.7% less than in 2020. From 2012 to today, there has been a steady decline every year except for 2019.

Psychologist and relationship counselor Daniela Bernhard sees the problem from her perspective and points out that there are actually many reasons that can contribute to alienation and separation: “A lot of factors accumulate over time and at some point you can’t just ignore or swallow whatever is bothering you. “, he notes. Here comes the last straw, and indeed, due to the prevailing circumstances, at this time, price increases are often the last straw.

“But that’s not the real reason,” says Daniela Bernhardt. “That’s why relationships don’t automatically improve when prices start to go down…”

Source: Deutsche Welle.