First, money disappeared from the house. Then Olena found out that money was disappearing from the casino. And after the husband lost them, he drowned his disappointment in drunkenness. From here, there was one more step to manifestations of anger. Scolded her, broke things around the house, threatened her. Then came the good days when he showered her with love.

For six years, Olena Andrii lived in an abusive relationship that completely clouded her mind. Although the evidence of the abuse was right in front of her eyes, she struggled to piece it together and understand the seriousness of what was happening to her. She believed with all her heart that her mission was to save her partner from alcohol and gambling addiction. She entered such a sophisticated game of manipulation that only when her life was threatened did she realize that she actually had to save herself and the child.

End of August 2019. Elena at the sea with a boyfriend and a boyfriend. She had worked hard to save up for those few days of vacation, a gift for their little boy, who had turned four a week ago. The first day they got there, the man gambled and lost all his vacation money at the casino. In the evening, when the woman demanded a report, he put his hand around her throat. “You make me do it!” he told her. The child who witnessed the event cried.

When she is short of breath, the thought sprouts in Elena’s head: “This relationship, which has been going on for 6 years, must end. There is no way back.” This was the first time he had said this to himself emphatically, although similar episodes had occurred before. This was the last straw.

The first signs

In the first few months of their relationship, everything was milk and honey. She, an empathetic type, is a savior and seeks absolute love, he is a seller of illusions, feeling himself eternally misunderstood and sabotaged by the world. Blinded by what could have been their love, Elena didn’t see, or, she says now, maybe didn’t want to see, what should have been the first warning signs.

First, money disappeared from the house. Then Olena found out that money was disappearing from the casino. And after the husband lost them, he drowned his disappointment in drunkenness. From here, there was one more step to manifestations of anger. Scolded her, broke things around the house, threatened her. Then came the good days when he showered her with love. He apologized, told her that she provoked him, that he loved her more than anything in the world and that he would stop doing this. She forgave him and did everything possible to break him out of the vicious circle, convinced that love saves and solves everything.

“After giving birth, everything became unbearable”

When the situation escalated, Olena was already a mother. From the day she left the maternity ward, her life took a leap forward. He had neither time nor strength to realize what was happening to him. He went into survival mode, and the only concrete thing he allowed himself to feel then was love for the child. “Everything became cloudy. I felt like I knew nothing about child care. Mom stayed with us for a while, but then I was left alone. The child’s father had two jobs at the time, he was gone all day. All his money and all my money went to gambling. I had no choice but to go to work myself a few weeks after giving birth. The child woke up every three hours at night to eat, and while he slept, I worked,” she recalls.

READ MORE AT TOTULDESPREMAME.RO