The bearer of this nickname, my friend and all his former students, died at the age of 53. I think I have something to say about his life and death; none of them had the slightest resemblance to the life and death of ordinary people.

The Grand Master was not a teacher in the present sense of the term, above all because he was not a teacher at all, but even a master; and the art which he practiced, bringing it to its last consequences, is called “liberty.” He chose a completely free life and paid for it with his health, and then with his life, all the time knowing what he was doing. He didn’t lie for a minute and he didn’t lie to anyone. He chose the path that he walked alone, always alone, although he was always surrounded by people like no other (he had an amazing charisma, like the heroes of the movies, and in a sense he was: a character film noir, where he was also a director, producer and screenwriter. He did not allow anyone to write him even answers, not even God himself. He did everything himself); none of us, his former students, dared and dare not follow his path. Yes, we were his “kids” as he said, but his art didn’t really stick with us. He was free like none of us, don’t you dare be, don’t you dare be… we just saw it end.

We remind you: in one of the philosophy lessons, we were given to memorize Spinoza’s opinion such as “Freedom is a necessity that is understood” (if I am not mistaken, Spinoza did not express himself this way, but this is the most popular form of his opinion). I don’t remember what I wrote on that exam, but I know what I’m saying now: bullshit! Freedom is what you want to do (and do), and necessity is what you don’t want to do (but you do). From this point of view we are all, but absolutely all, “supporters of necessity,” only the Grand Master was a “libertarian.” He never set any limits. When he feels like it, he gets on a plane and goes to New Zealand, to drink beer, and he also takes one of us (the poorer) with him so that he doesn’t get bored on it. way. Another time he went to Transnistria, dressed in flip-flops, a T-shirt and Bermuda shorts, with a bag on his belt (his famous bag, without which we can no longer imagine him); I didn’t even buy a cap, I bought a Soviet one there, with a red star on the forehead, then the Transnistrians stared at him like a bottle, not knowing what to believe (is he crazy? is he a spy? were they sent to check?). Of course the list of Grand Master feats is endless, I just wanted to give an idea of ​​the scale of the character; but I’m afraid that I didn’t succeed, because it’s simply impossible. Those who did not know him would never believe that such a person really existed.

After his death I spoke to a good friend in whose honor I have complete confidence. I asked her what she thought was the right balance between necessity and freedom. He agreed with me that the Grand Master was the only truly free man he had ever known, and then said, “Look, I… I never did what I wanted. Never! Always, as long as I know myself, as long as I remember myself in this world, I did what I had to do. I filled every day of my life with work that needed to be done. What I was given to do, what I had to do. But I never, ever did what I wanted. After a while, if I think about it, I didn’t want anything anymore. Nothing for me, that is. simply. We forgot (more precisely, did not notice) that there is also freedom, the possibility of freedom. Do what I want! Unbelievable, unbelievable! Listen… what I want! Maybe once in a while I will too. I still have time.”

It was then that I realized the true legacy that the great master had left us. Perhaps not so much “heritage” as “learning”: time. Human relationships over time. The price of time, duration: “Come on, I’m not doing this today, maybe another time. Definitely another time!”. Well, for him there was no such “other time” of ours. He did everything on the spot, in a second, in a moment. That is, he did not live as we do, in eternal, permanent planning (“Today I pray, tomorrow I take my child to the dentist, the day after tomorrow I look for summer vacation offers on the Internet,” etc.), but he lived in one eternal day, which filled each time with the mood of the moment: now. Today. Not tomorrow, not the day after tomorrow, no; now. None of us could keep up at this pace. We tried for a while, but it was too much, even though we were a pretty hardy bunch. But I couldn’t resist.

Looking from the outside, from a “civilian” point of view, it can be said that the grand master did nothing with his life. That he despised everything that gives meaning and value to life for us, the banal; but that was not his point of view. He was not interested in what people were interested in: it was enough for him to see how we struggle, how we strain ourselves with our petty human concerns, but he, for example, refused to participate in the masquerade of society. He preferred to look at everything from the side – I don’t know whether from above or from below (probably he would have laughed out loud at this distinction). I decided to imagine that once upon a time, in the prime of his youth, the Grand Master had signed some kind of Faustian pact with himself: “The night is gathering, and now my watch begins. It won’t end until I die. I will not take a wife, I will not own land, I will not have children. I will wear no crowns and gain no glory. I will live and die in my position. I have a sword in the dark. I am a watchman on the walls.” And somehow, in its own way, it really was. _

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