​How important are social interactions and being part of a community, especially for mental health? What positive effects can a safe environment and the creation of satisfying social relationships have on the body?

It is a fact that cannot be denied: humans are social beings, relationships have been and remain at the center of human existence, which is primarily due to how we have evolved over time.

Whether you’re an extrovert or an introvert, a security seeker or, conversely, a dopamine high and adventure seeker, social interactions are at the core of your life, whether we’re talking about family, work, structure politics, economics.

In terms of evolution, you wouldn’t be here if there wasn’t some kind of constant connection between humans. Both anthropologists and biologists can explain that each type of relationship arose for a reason. In other words, people have always needed help from the outside, from the reproduction of the species to the formation of a family, etc.

Then, in 2023, when “loneliness is already perceived as a global human phenomenon”, we have realized more than ever that mental and physical well-being depends to a large extent on the social relationships that each of us builds and maintains over time. explains psychologist and psychotherapist Simone Simboan from Queen Mary’s Private Health Network.

The impact of loneliness on physical and mental health

Recent studies show that 35% of people over the age of twenty-five suffer from chronic loneliness. And each one-point increase on the Loneliness Scale was associated with a 16 percent increase in mean depression symptom severity score. Loneliness was correlated with almost one in five (18%) cases of depression.

Loneliness is considered one of the reasons that lead to:

• alcohol abuse;

• sleep problems;

•personality disorders;

• Alzheimer’s disease.

“Loneliness can also cause various physical disorders such as diabetes, autoimmune disorders such as rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, and cardiovascular diseases such as coronary heart disease, high blood pressure (HTN), obesity, physiological aging, cancer , bad hearing and bad health.” says psychologist Simone Simboan.

Then, according to the psychotherapist, long-term loneliness brings spiritual emptiness, distorts oneself, uproots. Most people who choose to isolate themselves socially do not seek help when they need it. And not always people can solve their problems on their own.

Loneliness negatively affects the perception of life

“The lack of social relationships encourages a defeatist psychology, lonely people are more likely to face different reactions that further marginalize them. The longer the loneliness lasts, the harder it is to break the thinking and judgments (both your own and others) that contribute to the preservation of isolation,” says the psychologist.

Lack of social relationships can cause a negative and pessimistic distortion. The more you isolate yourself, the more you tend to create and maintain beliefs such as “people are not interested in my company”, “if I go to them, they will reject me”. And then you will show less and less initiative and constantly find excuses not to accept the invitations received.

In this way, you enter and remain in your own closed circle, a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy: avoidance and suspicion further alienate those around you, which you then perceive as confirmation of your fears, convinced that others, in fact, do not care about you.

Loneliness is contagious, says psychotherapist Simboan: “Studies on the impact of social networks have found that over time, lonely people ‘infect’ those around them, so that they, too, are relegated to the periphery of their social networks. As a result, having remained friends and social contacts, there will be fewer opportunities for social connections.”

Why do we need healthy social relationships?

Healthy social relationships promote self-understanding and acceptance. In the middle of the community, “I am dependent on many ‘others’: my family, my friends, my culture, my colleagues at work. The “I” who, for example, goes shopping, differs in its actions and behavior from the “I” who talks, for example, with a scientific supervisor,” the psychologist adds.

Discovering who you are together, as well as apart from all the voices around you, is critical to living a healthy and balanced life.

Also, people with depression are more likely to improve their overall mood through social interaction than through any other means.

Study after study shows that people who have a strong social support system have fewer health problems and live longer.

How can introverts be more sociable?

While maintaining social relationships and being part of communities seems natural and easy for extroverts, it can be a real challenge for introverts.

“When I work with people who are experiencing a depressive episode due to loneliness, I am often asked the following question: ‘Can I become an extrovert, and if so, how?’ I feel that introversion prevents me from making friends, and extroverts seem to have much more fun,” says the psychotherapist about some of his cases.

Being an extrovert seems perfect because you can enjoy anything that involves social interaction. “Extroverts are sociable, friendly, positive and socially confident. They tend to focus on the people and things around them rather than on their own thoughts and feelings.”

However, despite the fact that extroverts like to socialize in small or large groups and feel comfortable in crowded places, there is still no empirical evidence to support that only introverts are prone to loneliness and, as a result, depression.

Introverts, usually quieter and withdrawn, also enjoy socializing to some extent, but often, after spending some time with others, they feel mentally exhausted, especially if they have been socializing in groups.

So, being an introvert doesn’t mean you can’t socialize or be part of healthy communities, you just need to find time to relax and recharge. In this case, psychologists are no longer talking about loneliness, but about “removal”.

A retreat is a healthy state of connection with oneself, where escaping the crowds creates peace and happiness. Loneliness, on the other hand, is a condition associated with enough stress to take a toll on your mental and physical health.

Lonely hobbies or lonely work, if it is not the only aspect of your life, do not have a negative effect on health. Not all single people live in isolation. Just as you can have many friends and still feel lonely, emotionally isolated.

How can you improve your social life?

Psychotherapist Simone Simboan has several recommendations:

– First, put down your smartphone every day and talk to another person, even a stranger. Write down something new you learned from each person. Write down something funny that you saw or heard in the real world, not in the digital world. I guarantee that the time spent will at least be better remembered than scrolling through social media posts. And I am sure that happiness will increase.

– Listen to others, doctors often say that anything that gets you going for a walk lowers blood pressure, listening – really listening to others – can also lower blood pressure.

– Take a pet. Interaction with pets has the same effects on the health of people of all ages.

– Don’t let online communities replace in-person social experiences based on shared interests and hobbies. Take every opportunity to show a genuine interest in others – pay attention to their experiences and perspectives. Ask the people around you about what’s going on in their world.

– What keeps us balanced, us humans, is the inexplicable care we have for each other and for ourselves.

– Try to get rid of shyness, fears, shame, guilt, etc.

– Spend time in nature. A quiet walk under a blue sky can provide the perfect context for creating new social relationships. In addition, walks in the fresh air transform feelings of loneliness into a healthy sense of inner peace.

Other formulas for a richer social life:

1. Practice effective communication skills.

2. Use open body language and non-verbal communication.

3. Learn to manage your emotions.

4. Share good thoughts with others, compliment them more often.

5. Stop comparing yourself to others.

6. Smile more often.

7. Prioritize your social life.

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