Without realizing it, like a fish doesn’t realize it’s in water, we live in a toxic world. Criticism. With us and with others. This is something that flows naturally in our culture: we try to fix others and fix ourselves through judgment.

Thousands of studies have been written over the past decade that should already be telling us that all we manage to do is cause – and cause ourselves – more suffering.

Christine Neff is perhaps the most recognized authority on self-compassion. And its consequences: far from the soft attitude that excuses our failures and defects and turns us into lazy creatures – as we tend to think – it is the recognition of what we feel and experience that gives us strength.

“The tyranny cannot stop the tyranny,” Neff writes. The best way is to understand yourself, observe yourself, and give yourself the care you need to overcome the less-than-great moments. Be it small mistakes, ordinary moments of helplessness, epic failures or disasters.

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