When a parent sees their child browsing social media messages on their mobile phone and staring at the blue screen light, they are likely wondering how this preoccupation might be affecting their mental health.

Over the past two weeks, the chief surgeon USA and the American Psychological Association warn of danger social media for young people. So what should parents do?

“Families should take this matter seriously,” the doctor says. Gary Small, director of psychiatry at Hackensack University Medical Center in New Jersey. However, he added that the use of social media by teenagers is not only bad or only good, and notes that parents should take a closer look at how it affects their children and helps or hinders them “to function well in their lives and learn.” .”

In this context, the New York Times asked Dr. Small and other experts a series of questions about what factors parents should consider regarding the relationship their children have with social media.

1. Do they participate in other activities?

“This question could be a good starting point,” says the doctor. Jenny Radesky of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Does your child enjoy other daily activities that are not only in the digital world?

“Are they going to baseball? Do they do ballet?” Dr. Harold S. Koplevich asks in turn. The expert explains that if children are doing other things besides going to school and spending time in front of screens, then they are more likely to have a balanced and healthy relationship with social media, even if they use it every day.

It’s also helpful to think about whether social media is a major source of emotions in children, the doctor adds. Radesky. “If it’s the main means to feel better after a hard day or when they feel the need to escape.”

If something like this really happens, it can be seen as the first sign that children need help to find other ways to resist the pressures of everyday life, such as, for example. take a walk, play with your pet, or read a book.

2. How many hours a day do they spend on social media?

There is no hard and fast time limit for pinpointing when teens or preteens use social media too much, and experts differ. But time plays a role, says Ann Marie Albano of the Youth Mental Health Center in New York. Therefore, parents should have a clear idea of ​​how much time their children spend daily on social media.

Dr. Koplewicz says that in the case of teens, she typically sets a limit of four full hours per day in front of a screen, while Albano typically suggests that families aim for a ratio of 3-5 hours of non-computer activity per hour. their children are engaged with online media.

Adults should also think about how much screen time they themselves spend, the doctor says. Small. Parents can spend a lot of time in front of their phones or computers when their kids are around. But they also need to be a role model for them to show them how important it is to find time for offline activities, the expert explains.

3. Are they having trouble closing the screen?

“Children of all ages tend to resent the need to turn off the screen,” says the doctor. Albano, emphasizing that in this case “faces” and groans should be expected.

“But if you see them crying or getting angry or yelling at you — and if they persist in that behavior, it could be considered a possible sign of danger,” she stresses.

Parents can teach their children to limit screen time, Dr. Radesky said. In fact, she told her kids to set a kitchen timer so they knew when to turn off the screen. If they stop without being scolded by their mother, they get the same amount of screen time the next day, if not, they get less.

4. Did it affect their sleep or study?

All the experts who spoke to The New York Times stressed the importance of sleep for teens and preteens, adding that parents should consider whether their kids are staying up late because of social media. In this case, some new family rules would be useful, such as, for example. all mobile phones, computers and tablets remain outside the bedroom at night.

Parents should also be aware that social media distracts kids from getting ready for school or causes changes in their mood or appetite, which can be a sign of distress (parents would also benefit from considering what signs show up in cases of teen depression).

Dr. Jesse Gold, professor of psychiatry, encourages parents to have an open and open discussion with their children about the implications of social media.

“Social media isn’t going anywhere,” the doctor says. Gold. “So the parent’s response can’t be, ‘They say they’re bad for your mental health, so I’m taking all your screens.’