A few days ago, Irini Latsoudi sat on a bench and looked at her three-year-old son, who was playing with other children in the playground. At some point, he ran up and threw himself into her arms. “Mom, other kids say I’m brown,” he told her. Irene froze for a few seconds. In the blink of an eye, all those worries that she sometimes had, flashed through her head. Fear that someone might offend her son with a racist comment. But she didn’t show it to him. She answered him with absolute naturalness. “But you are brown, my Light. Because they are beige. Fotis continued to play carefree.

“We knew this would be the reality we would face in Greece” speaks today in “K”. Fotis, their blended family, is already drawing attention. Sometimes with curiosity, which he understands, sometimes with carelessness. “They often stop us on the street and comment on how handsome he is, ask about his hair. I try to be cool, but I often get irritated. Do they do this with all children? Also now Fotis is 3 years old. What will be their reaction when he grows up?” he asks.

The decision to adopt a child from Africa was an obvious choice for her. She was referring to the story of an acquaintance who did not tell the truth to her adopted child, and when he grew up, broke up with him. “I wanted our child to have different characteristics from us. It should be obvious that it has been accepted,” emphasizes Irini. Her decision was also aided by the fact that international adoption could take many years and thus due to their age (she was around 50, her husband is now 61) was prohibitive. So in 2020 they agreed on the first meeting with the International Social Services for Transnational Adoptions. They evaluated them and sent the application to Uganda, which then had the simplest procedures.

They wrote that ideally they wanted the child to be under 2 years old, but it didn’t matter if it was a boy or a girl. “Besides, even when you give birth, you don’t know it,” they thought. The first “coincidence” happened quickly. They received a photo of the baby, and although Irini did not expect this, when she saw her, she experienced unprecedented emotions: “It’s like a click, and you feel that this is your child.”

The first money was sent for medical tests and a search began to make sure that the child did not have a relative who could look for him. It was 2020, the borders were closed due to the pandemic, and she was itching to go to him. The tests were in order, but one morning she received an email that the uncle of the child had appeared. “We have lost the ground under our feet. So when the photo of Fotis came out later, we were hooked.”

As soon as they could, they went to Uganda. Most of all, they were helped by the text of the adoptive father, who wrote down his every step in incredible detail – like in a diary. Vaccinations and pills that they had to take before the trip, data on those who served the Greeks – from lawyers, doctors or drivers. How they have to move to be safe, but also why “moving is terrible.” “Have fun. Everything will go bulungi, that is, well,” the four-page letter ended.

Fotis is preoccupied with food, which he once definitely lacked. “Let’s save that for later,” he tells his parents. He later confirms that food is available.

When Irene and her husband arrived in Uganda, it was just announced that they were now required to stay in the country for a year. They were worried because they did not plan their work in such a way, and the weeks-long absence already complicated their task. But they were told from there not to worry – a solution would be found. And indeed, there was. Of course, the process took not one, but a year and a half, and in total, Irini and her husband traveled six times.

The first time, in October 2020, Fotis was taken away from the institution and they all went to a rented house together. During the three-hour drive, Irene tried to take his hand, but he, silent and inquisitive, kept his small hands closed. The next few weeks were entirely devoted to spending time together. They spoke Greek with him, played, walked. They saw that day by day it also opened.

She smiled shyly and started hugging them. When this first trip came to an end and they had to return to Greece, they decided that Fotis should not return to the orphanage, but would stay at home with other babies who were in the process of being adopted by the Greeks. He will be guaranteed food and the care of a woman who lived in Greece and spoke the language. But the separation was unbearable. “When we got into the car, he was crying. While we were gone, we had daily video calls, but the child was clearly confused. How did he know we’d be back. This whole process was very difficult psychologically, but I tried to hold on to the hope that soon we will all be together.”

On their sixth and final trip, the lawyer told them that they had to be in court at 7:30 am and that she had better put on a dress. “I didn’t have a dress with me and I was nervous. We got there, black darkness, where, of course, there was not a soul, because the courts did not even open, ”he recalls. When their turn came at noon, she was exhausted. The procedure lasted 15 minutes—because of anxiety, she does not remember what she was asked—but the questions were typical. Other adoptive parents describe this day as the birth of a child. As she left, she felt like she was about to lose consciousness.

In January 2022, they returned with Fotis to Greece. At first, Irene took him to work with her every day (he is an insurance agent and has his own office), now he goes to kindergarten. He has a good time, he is happy and sociable. He still has anxiety with food, which he definitely lacked in the first months of life. “Let’s save that for later,” he tells his parents, and then wants to confirm that food is available. Also attached to a toy given to him during their first trip to Africa, he often opens a photo album from Uganda and asks about their home there. As for her, she is still trying to cope with her experience in Africa, as well as adjusting to her new role as Fotis’ mother.

She tries not to think or worry about the future, although she is already preparing for the questions that her son may ask her. “I prepared a file with all the details of his adoption. Where he was found, the process we followed to become his parents. When and if the time comes, I want to be with him in this too,” he concludes.

“We feel the power, all colorful families together”

“Many of us thought that returning from Africa with our children would be the end of a beautiful fairy tale and that we would live well and they would live better,” – says Maria Ersi Koliri “K”. who adopted her son from Ethiopia six years ago. “But that’s actually where our story begins. It takes a lot of preparation, but also management,” he notes. She remembers attending a workshop as a young mother and the specialist told them that it would take them three years at best to bond with an adopted child. Usa, the psychologist herself, thought that other times applied to her: “And yet it took three years. These children are traumatized. It takes them much longer and requires preparation from us, parents, too, so that they feel that we will not leave. How can they count on us,” he notes.

It was also the reason why in 2018 they created the “Stork” association, of which she is currently president, to face uncharted waters together – first the process of childbearing and then their new life. Now members of “Aista”, 70 families throughout Greece, support each other, share joys and difficulties. Like when some of the older kids in elementary school were bullied because of the color of their skin. One of them was the son of Maria Ersis. “I explained to him that it was not his problem or problem because it clearly wasn’t, but I immediately went and spoke to the manager. He listened carefully and thought about calling the African Culture Center to put on a show for the students. Unfortunately, other parents struggle because they were not treated the same way, in other schools they deny there is a problem.”

As he explains, they have no illusions about where Greek society is, but the collective voice through The Stork gives them an incentive to fight on different fronts. Recently, one of the dads found out that in the school notebook for grade 3 there are verses that talk about black women and boys. He reported this to the group on Viber and a working group was immediately formed and they sent a letter to the Ministry of Education “about the words that hurt”, asking for the poems to be retracted and waiting for options that “would respect the new data of a multicultural society”.

Amharic lessons

At the same time, they try to establish contact with the countries of origin of the children. As a club, they support some activities in Africa (mainly the creation of libraries), organize Amharic lessons for their children. Families meet every month. Eat at one of the Ethiopian restaurants in Athens, for an event or just for a game. “We feel strength when we are all together. Children see that there are other families like them, because another, colorful family does not exist very easily in our environment, so when we are there, it immediately normalizes. Friendships have been created that we feel connected to, after all, many of these children lie side by side for months. And, perhaps, this is the most important thing. To be able to grow with each other. And a frame of reference so they can later choose what they want to do with their history and identity.”