“Why are Måneskin so popular?” is the first thing Google asks when you enter the name of the Italian who won Eurovision two years ago. We are not doing it wrong.

In defiance, of course, to those who pass the European song contest, and even if they “pick it up” they forget it the next day, Maneskin they “drop the shirt” (of marketing) to stay relevant. (This is their frontman’s sexy style, Damiano David the only thing worth in this group?)

Already from the night of victory in Eurovision for a quartet that emerged from a talent show in her native country, when all of Europe sang not only “Zitti e Buoni”, but he wondered what Damiano David was doing, leaning over the table in the green room (not cocaine, anyway).

And then their (very bad) cover was back in the news. “Beginning” of the 4 seasons of 2017, which began to sound around the clock and seven days a week on the radio and simultaneously rose in the charts on the other side of the Atlantic. Among the many “lust traps” of the quartet’s Instagram photos was being featured on its soundtrack. “Elvis” slot in Coachella and another one following “very” Primavera, Måneskin were guests at his show Jimmy Fallon and we wonder exactly what episodes we missed.

The “culmination”, of course, in all this was the day before “Wedding” between the four members of the group, Damiano David, Victoria De Angelis, Thomas Ruggie and Ethan Torchiwhere they exchanged eternal vows of love (mutability has been an integral part of their agenda since we first met them), with the blessings of celebrity guests such as Machine gun “Kelly” and Paolo Sorrentino, but, above all, with those of Spotify who put on this whole festival to advertise themselves and inflate the streams of Italians.

Which brings us to “Hurry!” the new, third Måneskin album, which came out a few days ago.

Pressing the play button on “Rush!”, you find yourself wondering when the bell will ring and what we will have after physics. glamorous packaging consumed in one vaguely rock and perfectly generic mood it beautifies songs that someone just has to write on the go for restless teenagers or those who have never heard rock.

And if anyone wants to understand the sonic origin of these songs, they will find them dark, not because they need careful encryption, but because they are so “general” and characterless that it seems that their hat does not hold anything, they just pieces “factory” sounds “rocky and cool” and sometimes to imitate styles.

So, among the songs “rauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu and neither nor nor nor any of them are necessary” salty ballads (“If it wasn’t for you”, “The Lonely One”), their frontman’s desperate attempt to be heard. cockney (“Kool Kids”) and a riff that desperately wants to be catchy but ends up sounding like The second national “Army of the Seven Nations”. Not to mention that monotone blah blah blah, I don’t know if it’s more annoying or funny.

Of course, the real breakdown of the graphometer is coming reading lyrics. I mean, we understand that the “sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll” triptych if you’re 15 is something like that in your mind, but let’s accept that everyone here is 15 years old and let’s move on a bit. , at one’s own risk.

If you’re cool from the start no “cool stuff” is not to call yourself “Cool kid” to borrow the spelling that Maneskin took from Sonic Youth (whew). And don’t go all out for leaning over the Eurovision table like Taylor Swift did for years with Kanye West (candy, that is). And of course you don’t say “Cocaine on the table / I don’t care that we are rebel rebels” (“Feel”) and stuff “But the tough guys, they don’t do drugs (They don’t) / Just weed because it’s not that strong” (“Kool Kids”) seems to put the parents of your listeners at ease.

Shock value, want little Italians in leather? No, it’s not “shocking” at all that “I hate your face, but I like your mom’s face” just confirms the age target group you’re hoping to sell. And you won’t get “dangerous” by singing about him “Mark Chapman” fortunately, however, sing for them Smiths we also heard clever lyrics on the record: “I listen to The Smiths cry alone / So please let me get what I want” (“Blah blah blah”). And all this before David started singing in Italian and some of us can’t understand (ugh) what he says without a dictionary.

Graphics to say what during the hearing we wanted to put the name of the record into practice? It can be said that it is quite graphic.

Of course, there is no question of saving rock and roll, here it was not saved by others either. But even as an industrial product, Måneskin cannot “deceive” you and say yes, my child, at least they are “playing well”.

And in the end, what are we left with? Another firework that will milk the music industry cow for as long as it can. Please pass next.

“Hurry!” by Måneskin released by Epic/Sony.