Do new friends as adults this often proves to be a “difficult track”. For many, communication does not come naturally, while for others, communication with others seems easy.

Author Marissa J. Franco characterizes specific people in The Atlantic “super friends”

These “super friends” not only form friendships more easily, but are often stronger and last longer. And what is the characteristic that distinguishes these “super friends”? secure binding.

People choose three types of mounts: certain, disturbing and distant – the last two can be combined on a case-by-case basis. certain people they believe they deserve love and that others can be trusted with it.

Those who they relate stress they think that others will give up on them, so they “cling” to the people around them, try too hard, or get too close too quickly.

As for them distant people, show similar behavior to anxious, only instead of “hanging” on others, they keep them at a distance.

Undoubtedly, the assimilation of these characteristics is directly related to the first experiments, mainly through parents and those who cared for us, and the way they treated us – from excessive concern to indifference.

Psychologist Fred H. Goldner introduced the term “pronoia” which is the positive equivalent of paranoia. That is, a person with “pronoia” lives with the illusion that others want the best from him, even if the signs suggest otherwise.

However, confident people tend to trust other people when there are no signs that they shouldn’t. But if anyone turns out to be unreliable, Confident people suffer less than insecure people.

Confident people also tend to increased risk in their relationship, to make it easier to form friendships, start fruitful confrontations, and share personal items with others.

Anxious people, however, do not take as much risk because they are afraid that they will end up hurting them. According to research, when anxious people become frustrated, the area of ​​their brain associated with pain and sadness is activated.

As for the detached people who, as we wrote earlier, put others in order not to be rejected, they more likely to end a friendship – something that also applies to anxious people.

In part love relationshipnow people far away prefer to communicate their messages in an indirect way and therefore more often resort to press tactics “ghost”.

Either way, if someone becomes overly attached or aloof, like all insecure people, the outcome is likely to be the same: instead of protecting themselves, they end up hurting them more.

However, most of us are not sure, or only not sure, but the two voltages alternate in each case.

Of course, sense of security always helps. One study found that when insecure people were in an environment where they felt safe, they tended to be more proactive in friendships.

Another study, again on romantic relationships, found that the better we feel about ourselves, the more likely we are to assume that others like us.

The secret, after all, lies in the initiatives. You can assume that people like you, that the person you’re talking to at the gym wants to hang out with you again, that the friend you lost is determined to get back together. If you accept that all of this is possible, you will approach human relationships with less fear.

With information from the Atlantic.