When we sleep apart, there is a risk of emotional distance. Photo: Shutterstock

Sleeping with a loved one can have many benefits, one of which is a better connection with your partner, if you think about hugs, mornings where we spend a few minutes together before starting the day, or even bedtime rituals. What if our partner snores, moves in his sleep, prefers a different room temperature, or has a different sleep schedule? Is sleeping apart healthy for our relationship?

How do we get the desire to sleep separately?

Before talking in detail about the pros and cons of sleeping separately, it is important to consider that both partners should feel satisfied with the decision made and there should not be a situation where one compromises for the sake of the other, although his needs are different. In the latter situation, sleeping in separate beds can lead to distance in the couple’s relationship.

Separate sleep, as I said, is motivated by discomfort during sleep caused by the partner, which leads to insufficient rest and accumulated irritability. In the end, it all spills over onto someone else, the source of our stress. Rest is important, and according to this premise, it can be assumed that sleeping in separate beds positively contributes to the development of relationships. Let’s not take this to mean that if we sleep separately, we will feel closer, just that we will be more rested and, at least in theory, have more resources to invest in the relationship of our spouses.

Some of us are getting to the point where we are considering what the Americans call a “dream divorce.” The reasons start with different needs for light, temperature, sounds in the bedroom and continue with a partner’s snoring, restless sleep or simply a different sleep schedule. But what reasons are serious enough to consider sleeping separately?

Reasons why we want to sleep separately

If we talk about the temperature in the room, there are usually misunderstandings between women and men, some studies claim that the optimal temperature for women is 25 degrees Celsius, and for men – a maximum of 22.

As a rule, women will be colder than men at the same temperature. Body size and fat/muscle ratio are largely responsible for this discrepancy. How can we solve this problem as a couple? We can agree. This isn’t necessarily a reason to end up sleeping separately, but rather, if we can’t come to an agreement, it could be a signal that we’re struggling to find a compromise that takes into account the needs of both.

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