Five days of work, Monday to Thursday sports, Fridays and Saturdays outings with friends, Wednesdays maybe movies, Sundays family and some sex from time to time.

“Very, very sometimes. There are weeks when I don’t even think about it. I go back and forth between getting home and watching a series, my work schedule, Pornhub and the people I meet on Tinder – it doesn’t bother me. I prefer to deal with it myself. There is almost no sex with anyone, ”says Mariana in the corresponding report of the Spanish newspaper El Pais.

Mariana, who was born in the early 1990s, is one of many who confirms what pops up in research from time to time, namely: people are having less and less sex in general, and young people in particular – whether they have a permanent partner or not.

“It’s been going on for the last four decades” notes José Diaz, President of the Spanish Association of Clinical Sexology (AESC). And, as Eusebio Rubio-Orioles, former president of the World Sexual Health Association (WAS, of which he is now a consultant), adds, this phenomenon is characteristic of “what the West perceives, where the economy is changing, as is the traditional structure of society and the family“.

The data obviously varies across Asia, Africa, or Latin America, but, as he explains, data from random surveys is neither comprehensive nor sufficient, as there is neither continuity over time nor, in many cases, investment in scrutiny. “Realities are different, the quality and quantity of information is not the same. There are no funds for this expensive research,” he says.

However, where investigations are carried out,there is a clear trend. And it’s more intense than in 2010. Or at least more conspicuously“.

Reasons for sexual distancing

There are many possible explanations for the phenomenon, experts say, referring to it. job insecurity or long hours, anxiety and depression, increasingly less stable relationships or mental confusionespecially among young people.

While the trend seems clear, the exact picture is more complex, especially given the lack of follow-up studies. According to Diaz, only two nationwide polls have been conducted in the US in twenty years.

The results of the first of these showed how Americans were having nine times less sex in the early 2010scompared to the end of the 1990s. their sexual contacts decreased from 62 to 53 per year. The second survey recorded sexual frequency between 2000 and 2018, when inertia increased among boys and girls under the age of 34, but especially between the ages of 18 and 24, especially among singles. Similar downward trends were recorded in Germany between 2005 and 2016, in Finland between the late 1990s and mid-2000s, and in Australia between 2001 and 2013.

“Stress is not an abstract factor. This causes hormonal changes that increase cortisol and prolactin levels, among other things.two hormones, which in turn lower testosterone levels – which is the hormone of sexual desire in both men and women. “Chronic stress causes a decrease in sex drive,” notes Diaz.

OUR depression also plays an important role in deterioration in libido. In the 2022 Headway Mental Health report, Portugal ranks first for mental disorders in Europe, while Spain ranks second. While globally over 320 million people suffer from depression18% more than ten years ago.

Nacho Vidal Syndrome

Anthony Molintzes, clinical psychologist and author of Smart Sex, attributes the decline in sexual intercourse to two variables: “One of them is our hard and difficult work.”

“I get home around 10 pm and I’m so exhausted and I have so many ideas in my head that I barely have the energy to eat dinner,” said Andres, 34, and his single contemporary, Nuria. moment, and also works on a rotational basis, which often does not coincide with the schedule of her potential lovers, she confirms.

Another factor is men’s fear of not being able to perform their sexual duties. This fear is related to two other problems:Nacho Vidal Syndrome (named by the Spaniards after the protagonist of pornographic films) caused by the comparison of the erect penis in the porn industry” and the role reversal between men and women “occurred in the last two generations” and includes the gradual disappearance of the standard “male hunter, female object of desire” .

“The more liberated a woman seems, the more frightened a man is.he notes, adding, however, that this raises the paradox that “the more sexual freedom, the more self-sufficient sexuality of self-satisfaction“.

“Either they tell me clearly (that they want sex) or they leave me alone,” Mau, 23, says. “I don’t know if it’s the fear of rejection, or the crossing of red lines that women set, or something else…”

“Flirting was an act conquest by man and surrender by woman. Now it is much more horizontal in the case of heterosexual relationships,” says 33-year-old Markus.

“Sometimes people are afraid to even approach each other. But it’s easy to tell when there’s a love interest. What I believe in is that now we girls do not leave unanswered some things that used to be a challenge. Sexist jokes? Hello. Racist rants? Hello again,” says Claudia, 25.

Suzana, now 50, confirms that can’t stand it anymore than in the past. “I’m already old and I don’t meet anyone of note. My life is also arranged at home. I work remotely and it’s hard for me to meet people. In the past, 80% of my relationships were sexually mediocre or bad. Kiss, caress and immediately act. Oral sex was rare, and if it did happen, it was generally bad. Men are terribly influenced by pornography, they have become phallic. I can’t deal anymore. It makes me tired, it annoys me.”

At the same time, Eusebio Rubio-Orioles of WAS believes that development of Western culture becoming increasingly individualized and lonely has a huge bearing on how we connect romantically with others. “Consequence; Less contact, less shared enjoyment,” he says.

Source: El Pais