Contrary to what we’ve known until now, it’s not careers, money, physical activity or healthy eating that make us happy. Mutual respect, support and effective communication with the people around you, in short, healthy social relationships ensure a happy and long life, according to the longest happiness study conducted by Harvard scientists.

In 1938, scientists from Harvard collected the medical records of 724 people from different parts of the world and began an 85-year study of happiness. Participants in this longest-running study were asked questions about their lives every two years.

Recently published research results prove that happiness is not in money, not in career and not even in the healthy lifestyle we lead. Happiness, like longevity, depends on the health of our relationships with others – family members, friends, colleagues, people around us. People who are socially connected to family, friends, and society are happier, healthier and live longer.

At the opposite pole, loners who isolate themselves from others are unhappy and live less. Loneliness turns out to be toxic. Living in isolation does us no good.

The secret to starting a happy life is “social adaptability”

The truth is that relationships affect us physically. Having friendships or intimate relationships is not enough. It is not enough to have friends. It is important to know how much you can rely on them, how well you feel in their company, how much support this relationship gives you. A toxic love or a conflict-filled marriage can harm our health even more than breaking up such a relationship. Happiness research has shown that people who have eliminated stress and toxic relationships not only have healthier relationships with others, but also become better people, connect with others more easily, and live longer. Our social life is a living system that is constantly changing, and sometimes it takes practice to live a full life. For our social relationships to be healthy and balanced, social adaptability is key.

What is “social suitability”

Social fitness is the degree to which you evaluate, build, and optimize relationships and interactions with others. Healthy relationships are characterized by mutual respect, support and effective communication. The health of your relationship and the level of involvement you have in that relationship affects every other aspect of your well-being—from how much sleep you get, to the food choices you make, to how well you recover from illness, stress, and injury.

The connections you build with family members, friends, teammates, and members of your community are critical to your overall health and your ability to perform (and be) your best.

7 basics of life relationships. People are social creatures. We, as individuals, are not enough for ourselves. We need others to communicate and help us.

There are seven basic elements in a relationship:

• safety and stability – who would you call if you woke up scared in the middle of the night? Who would you turn to in a time of crisis?
• learning and growth – who encourages you to try new things, take risks, achieve your goals?
• emotional intimacy and trust – who knows everything (or most) about you? Who can you turn to when you’re feeling down and talk openly about how you feel?
• identity consolidation and shared experiences – is there someone in your life who has shared many experiences with you and who helps you consolidate your sense of identity – “who am I”?
• intimacy in relationships – are you satisfied with the level of intimacy in your life?
• help (informative as well as practical) – who do you go to if you need specialist knowledge or help with a practical problem? (e.g. plant a tree, establish a Wi-Fi connection)
• fun and relaxation – who makes you laugh? Who do you call when you want to watch a movie or go on a trip? Who makes you feel good and relaxed?

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