When Raluca Nechulescu told his parents that he wasn’t going to get married anytime soon, even though he was almost 40 years old, Mr. and Ms. Nechulescu was extremely disappointed; he would like to see his daughter “at home” at the age of almost 70 and to have a grandson whom he would cherish like his own eyes.

The discussion on this topic led to an almost complete cooling of Raluka’s relationship with her parents, but she did not give in to her principles: career first, and then the wedding. Work first, fun later, as he liked to say.

It is certain that a somewhat atypical phenomenon is happening in Romania: the number of marriages of young people is decreasing, while the number of those over 50 is increasing.

“Young people aged 20-24 have delayed or are delaying marriage, preferring to enter into a consensual relationship. They have this type of relationship of consensual union or concubinage, as it was called in the past. It is certain that he is postponing his marriage for very different reasons,” Professor of Sociology Maria Voinea, a specialist in the sociology of the family, explains to HotNews.ro.

Below is the evolution of the number of marriages between husband and wife up to 24 years old(data source: INS):

“Women first want to make a career, realize themselves professionally. Secondly, women want to experience more social statuses, more roles, avoiding entering too early into the relationship of wife and mother. Therefore, they postpone both marriage and the conception of the first child. This leads to the fact that the age of marriage exceeds 30 years, and sometimes children appear at around 34-35 years old,” says Professor Maria Voynya.

Sociologist: So, we have no reservations about the institution of marriage, only that some parameters have changed

As for young people, the sociologist says that it is not surprising that we are facing “stationarity” in the marriage plan of the age group under 25, but not excluding that after some time they will also get married. “That is, it is not a rejection of marriage, but a postponement of this step. You have to keep in mind that Romanians still have a tendency to marry, we have a higher marriage rate than the European average; in Europe, the average is about 5 ‰, and here it is 6.5 ‰!. So, we have no reservations about the institution of marriage, only that some parameters have changed: the age for entering into the first marriage has changed and, of course, premarital experience is given priority,” says Professor Maria Voineya.

Why do they still get married after 50 and not live in a consensual relationship for the rest of their lives, I asked Ms. Voynia. “Of course, not all young couples postpone marriage after 50 years. no But recently couples who lived in this consensual relationship have a need for recognition, confirmation, and formalization of their relationship. Meanwhile, the children have also grown up – so they are over 50 years old – and they have nothing to lose if they now give legitimacy to a relationship they have already had for years. I don’t know if the current young generation – those who are now 25-30 years old – will, in turn, postpone the moment of marriage for another 20 years, only the future will show us whether there will be changes in the wedding plan and what changes there will be.” , – explains Maria Volya.

Social networks and dating apps allow people to meet partners with similar interests, age and social background

Many people who decide to marry later say that they just didn’t want to before. Either to strengthen their careers, or because they were disappointed by previous relationships. And having children was clearly not a priority: nowhere does it say that raising children and marriage should go hand in hand.

“The last thing on my mind when I met Marka was getting married,” says Laura Jonascu, assistant manager. We became friends on Facebook; I was 39 years old, single and raising Ioana. He worked in the insurance industry and went through a rather unpleasant divorce.

Two things changed Laura’s mind about marriage: both related, in part, to age. Mark was 47 years old, which meant that he had become a mature person with whom to discuss deeper things. “We really enjoyed seeing each other because we had many topics to discuss. We don’t meet just to get to know each other,” says Laura.

The second thing that made Laura change her mind about getting married was her health. They both had minor health problems and took care of each other. “It’s nice to know that someone is there for you if something happens to you. And that your child does not belong to anyone,” explains Laura.

in Romania he has been in a consensual relationship for between 7 and 9 years

According to experience and fieldwork conducted by sociologist Maria Voinea, people in Romania are in consensual relationships between 7 and 9 years. “Just as there have been changes in the issue of divorce over the past 30 years, so we have changes in the issue of marriage,” concludes Maria Voynya.

Below is the evolution of the number of marriages between husband and wife between 50-55 years (data source: INS):

200 years ago, where there was love, there should be a wedding

The bride gave gifts to her mother-in-law, brothers-in-law and best man, which were always handed down. dowry sheet.

Guests were greeted with rose water, sherbet, coffee and tobacco, and jasmine or cherry pipes were waiting for treats.

Currently, the wedding is testing the lowest thresholds in Romania. The number of marriages began to decrease from 1990 (with a few exceptions), and 2020 (uncharacteristically due to the pandemic) reduced these ceremonies below 90,000).

According to the INS, we have almost a million couples living together (13% of our families) without being married. Over the past 15 years, their number has increased.

The average age of women at their first marriage before 1990 was 21-22 years, and the average age of mothers at the birth of their first children was about 22.3 years. Early marriage contributed to a high birth rate of more than 2 children per woman.

But times change, and with them demographic habits. Since 1992, we have seen an increase in the number of births out of wedlock, their share progressing from 15% (1992) to 30.1% (2019). Paradoxically, the rural environment, which is considered more conservative and defender of traditions, was more affected by this phenomenon.

The difference between the average age at first birth and the average age at first marriage (and especially the negative difference that often occurs after 2003) is also due to the increase in the proportion of births to very young women who, by not marrying, no longer contribute to the average age at first marriage, although it favors the average age of the birth of the first child.